Boy: If you didn't have feet, would you wear socks? Girl: No. Boy: Then why do you wear a bra?

What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded

Why was the man thought to be peculiar? Because he had sex with a pistachio.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, killed 6's family and made him watch...

Why did carly drop her groceries Carly is a cow

Show me the money! Said the man last wednesday.

When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww

A brunette is walking up the side of a river. She sees a blonde on the other side. "How did you get to the other side?" asked the brunette. "I used the bridge just a few more kilometers up" the blonde replies.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

Why are you angry dude? I can't see my forehead

If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

Q. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were both drowning, what kind would you make? A. PBJ

I know what you do with your right hand. You part-take in everyday activities such as eating, typing, grooming and maneuvering.

What do you call a black priest? Someone devoted to the word of god

whats the best thing ever to happen to chuk norris ? he was born !!!!

How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

Once upon a time there was a nice old man who loved to ride his bike... He unfortunately died when he had a heart attack.

Looking for propane accessories? Well look no more!

Did you hear about the plane that crashed and killed 1000 people? My sister has cancer.

my great great grandpa ryan the rattlesnake had a cat named dog-

Gangnam style

What did the squirrel say to the other squirrel? Squirrels can't talk.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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