There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I suck at Poetry, show me your Tits.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you f***ing racist.

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What is white and can't walk? A PVC Pipe.

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Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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*Knock Knock *Whos there? *ADD *ADD Who? *I forgot but you wana build a fort.

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What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

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It is so hard to write an antijoke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was a red light and it was his turn to cross.

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What did the Muslim have under his hood of his car? A V-8 engine.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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why did the puppy poop? he had too

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Why can't Hellen Keller play hide and go seek? Because she is dead.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why did the tree stay home from school? Because, trees don't have school.

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What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

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Q: Why did the koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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An asian, mexican, and a black guy walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "get the hell out"

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Are you from Africa? Because you're black.

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Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

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Coffee just isn't his cup of tea.

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Knock knock. Who's there. Alex. Alex who? Your brother Alex. Oh, please come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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