What did your last slave die of? Terminal Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Michael Brown

thumb_up thumb_down +25

u jelly?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I'm trying to see from Adam Fantuzzi's point of view but i cant stick my head that far up my arse Daniel

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q- Who is the life of the party? A- hannah schane

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Is the boy sleeping? No, he's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man comes home from work and finds his wife in bed with his next-door neighbor. Furious, he shouts 'What's the meaning of this?!' And his wife answers 'A pronoun used to identify a specific person or thing close at hand or being indicated or experienced'.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Jimmy through a glass at spouse? Jimmy was an abusive husband who had a tendancy to drink too much.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

If you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats black and white and red all over Racial violence

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than molding bread? Babies in the toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Do dead Elves know it's Xmas ?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock. Who's there? James. Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: How does a chicken get to work? A: A chicken does not go to work. Chickens can not legally be employed for any position in any country as they are chickens, are not human, and do not posses any prerequisites required to be hired for any existing employable position.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A turtle that couldn't swim walked to Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is white and can't walk? A PVC Pipe.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I suck at Poetry, show me your Tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops