One kid says I've had threw bottles of water and I haven't had to go to the bathroom. His friend says may have a urinary tract infection.

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Why do gay people go to the beach on memorial? idk im not gay

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Why does Mario wear coveralls? Because it makes practical sense for his full time job as a plumber.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, your entire family has died in a terrible car accident.

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Q. why are black people so good at sports? A. Hardwork and dedication.

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a hobo begs and begs for a dollar to buy something. a man finally gives him a dollar. what does the hobo buy? nothing. he walked into 711 and got shot.

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A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

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Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

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If E = cos[(6x+8) + 5x!] + tan(90-X)^2, and x = 137/43, what is E? The fifth letter of the alphabet.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Shut up.

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What's the difference between a Green Grocers and Fighter pilot! One flys a plane and one sells food.

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What do you call a black kid on a bike? Dirt bike

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q: Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Needless to say,

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What is an old ginger lady's favorite type of bread? Whole wheat.

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What did the dog say to the mouse? Cat

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Hey i just met u And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met u

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What is funnier than onion gravy? Mushroom gravy.

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Wanna hear an anti-joke?

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Explain the term 'Standard of Living'? Not having sex with diseased and obese women.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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