A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why are there no aspirin factories in the Amazon Rainforest? Because it would be unprofitable to build a factory that requires a large workforce in an uninhabited area.

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Roses are white Violets are black I'm colorblind That is sad

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Why do everytime I go to toilet for number 2. I look into the toilet to see if this one's nicer than the last one.

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Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

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Why did the boy scratch his back? A:because it was itchy.

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Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

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a woman came back from a long vacation, one of her male employes noticed that her breast were much larger, "wow, did you get a boob job?" he asked. she replied "no i have breast cancer"

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? How ever many seats happen to be available.

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Where was I born? Pakistan. You?

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar and the bar says "ouch!"

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Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

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I saw a poor man named rich

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Where can you find elephants? That depends on where you leave them.

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Why can't you fly? Cause Ruddell says so.

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SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Studies show that 95% of house fires are caused by fire.

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Sally was ugly like a shaven babboon So she created her own little cacoon And within a week she finally emerged And she smelled like shit what a psycho

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Knock, knock No, I do not want to hear about God.

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What's the difference between a taxidermist and an astronomer ? They have a different job.

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Two english guys meet at work

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There were 2 drunk men. Man 1:im planning to buy the world. man 2:you cant. man 1:why. man 2: cause im not gonna sell it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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