What does a baby sound like being cooked in the microwave. I don't know I was to busy masterbating.

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A priest walks into a bakers and asks for a loaf of bread , the baker asks "white or brown" the priest replies "it does not matter Sir I have my bike outside".

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What did the serial killer eat for breakfast? You.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He was in the moooooooood.

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whats better than holocaust...911 cardiac?

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Q: Why couldnt the kid feel his legs A: He had no arms

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What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

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What's the difference between my father and my mother. My father isn't an alcoholic

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Q: What's Black and White and Red All Over? A: This is a logical fallacy. If something is "Red All Over," it is implied that no other color can be showing. Thus, whatever innate Black and/or Whiteness was formerly attributed to said object will now have been inherently obfuscated by its Redness.

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how do you beat up 3 year old with ease? you beat her up, 3 years can't fight for shit.

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knock knock who's there Alec Baldwin I just raped your children ..........

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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A cow says moo and explodes.

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What do you call a special Ed walrus? Anorexic pony ???? Discovering that a convicted sex offenderi is living nearby stirs up a range of feelings: fear, anger, insecurity and anxiety. There are many things you can do to make the situation more manageable - and channel these emotions into actions that address situations that put children most at risk for sexual harm. Learn how to identify the most common threats and concerns. Then find out the best ways you can join with others to keep everyone safe. Take action! Learn how to keep children safe Get the FAQs about the sex offender registryi Download our Tip Sheet:  Concerned about Sex Offenders in Your Neighborhood?

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Why aren't 4 black people driving a red mustang? They can't afford it.

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What is red and has seven dents? Snow White's Cherry.

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How did the boy die in the holocaust? Cancer

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What's the difference between a horse? All legs are of equal length, especially the left one.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, nothing rhymes with purple.

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What do you call a black cop? Officer.

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I watched The Pianist last night? Holocaust

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No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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