Knock knock Who's there? Your neighbor. I just ran over your cat.

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his whole family

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What do you call a comedian who can;t make people laugh? A bad comedian.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: a pizza is a food that was created in italy and is regularly eaten daily around the world and a jew is a religion that is constantly criticized and made fun of because they are different.

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There were 3 guys named Sean, Ryan, and Eye. They were best friends. However, things escalated when Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend and Ryan found out. Ryan felt he had to tell Sean that Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend. Ryan went up to Sean and said "Dude, Eye slept with your girlfriend!" Then Sean shot Ryan in the head before Ryan realized what he had said. Game Over

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Why did god smite the homosex man with all of heavens wrath? For shits and gigs.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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poop nuff said

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Yo mamas so fat that she slowly had developed obstructive sleep apnea syndrome and had died due to an obstruction of her upper airway while she was sleeping.

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What happens when you walk by two black men? You walk by two black men.

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What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

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Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

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Woman Rights

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What did the woman say to her rapist? I've had better.

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Where did a homeless man find his easter eggs? In the bin.

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What happened the the blonde that went swimming? She cooled off and enjoyed a hot summer day.

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Q: What is the difference between a Ginger and a shoe? A: A shoe has a sole

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That's not what she said.

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Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it’s all play.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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