What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Nothing, we eat pizza and we respect Jews.

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why did the little boy put a bandaid on his knee. it doesn't really matter, he has cancer.

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Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

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Yeah sure comment below, and soylent green is fucking people! Moral: "You are judging the spitting image of yourself, except that you are doomed to remain ignorant and judgmental"

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How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs is both the same.

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What starts with N, ends with R, and is a black guy? NeighboR!

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What did the sushi say to the bee? Nothing, a piece of sushi can't talk and a bee wouldn't listen, stupid.

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The joke above me is a wind-up, losers :P

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What is white on the inside and red on the outside? An apple.

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How do you stop a black kid from bouncing on the bed? Put Velcro on the cealing.

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Why can't you fly? Cause Ruddell says so.

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What do 9 out of 10 people like? Gang rape.

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a man walks into a bar, he is injured severely and needs medical attention stat, he is rushed to the hospital where he dies that evening

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What did the Black guy, the Asian, and the White guy have in common? they were all brutally murdered.

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What can fly for only a short period? A jumper.

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Your mother is so fat that when she steps on a scale it shows her a weight that she is not very satisfied with

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Sorry not thinking here, of course I will arrive sooner, give me 20 minutes or so (got to scout the area, you never know) As for coding, there is no hidden meaning so yeah... That is probably some "Neronist" coding format I never knew of I am using so well. Cant drive like this, so I will use a cab and wait for you at the back seat or something, I will let the Taxi cab honk the numbers of code here so you can come out knowing its safe. I sincerely thought you where at the home, according to our coordinates you are... Dont tell me that bastard built some basement over there, wow! I really miss him now, if nothing else because I would have liked a wine cellar made in less than... Sorry, ill be there asap, 20 minutes or less, nah, believe me, "fancy" is the least of things I want, and I wont be changing my mind anytime soon. See ya. I am sincerely surprised you even remember me, then again I look a lot like your crush. Abel (in case you where wondering, this is not my name either, but you get the picture by now)

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What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.

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A ginger was with his friends

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What dud the baseball player do when he struck out? Walked back to the bench

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because Osama Bin Laden is dead.

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Why was the squirrel late for work? Because the traffic was nuts!

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How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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