What's the difference between a duck?

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How do you stop the neighbors kids from jumping the fence into your property? Molest them.

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Why is Cindy crying? She got a branch stuck in her eye which irritated her sensitive cornea so her tear duct produced a tear to help shed the material from her eye.

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How come Hellen keller is blind and deaf? Cause she is a women.

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i am an inbred jew who likes penis up my bum ~Nathan Barras

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Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: a pizza is a food that was created in italy and is regularly eaten daily around the world and a jew is a religion that is constantly criticized and made fun of because they are different.

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My children are huge mistakes.

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Did you hear about the Blonde who fell off a cliff You Have? Oh Ok, Have a nice day

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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Yo momma's so poor, that when she went to the soup kitchen, she got food.

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*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

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how do you make a door cry? twist its nob

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How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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Q: What dosent a Jew and a pizza have in commen? A: The pizza dosent scream when you put it in the oven.

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In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

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so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

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Why did the Asian Cross the road? Because the crossing signal went green!

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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