why did the kid get a bad grade he didnt study

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My children are huge mistakes.

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Did you hear about the Blonde who fell off a cliff You Have? Oh Ok, Have a nice day

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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Yo momma's so poor, that when she went to the soup kitchen, she got food.

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*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

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How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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how do you make a door cry? twist its nob

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In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

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so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

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Q: What dosent a Jew and a pizza have in commen? A: The pizza dosent scream when you put it in the oven.

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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why did the black boy read a book. Because he had a book report due next week

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Why did the Asian Cross the road? Because the crossing signal went green!

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Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

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How did the Jewish husband and wife stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

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Why did the Chinese man have a cat in his oven? Because his wife had decided to divorce him that day so he threw he in the oven, and the cat happened to be in her arms at the time.

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What is the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench is an inanimate object whereas a black man is a human being with rights.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well he usually takes the bus to his job but he missed it so he had to walk. Unrelated to this, he works at KFC

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Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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