What do you call two banana's on someone's feet? Garbage.

Why did the groom have cold feet? Because he was insecure in his relationship with his soon to be wife.

kevin kim

A man walks into a bar what does he say Ouch

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

What is different between a pile of dead infants and a red ferrari? Being the victim of a mass murder.

whats worse tan loosing checkers getting lit on fire

Michael Jackson walks into a daycare center.

I`m not as random as you think i`m salad.

ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

Knock Knock Whos There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Radley.

Why did the girl get robbed? Because her door was unlocked.

I was Writing and i broke my pencil

In Soviet Russia, you have no rights!

A. Knock Knock B. Welcome!

Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

An Irish man walks out of a bar..... 'nuff said

Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

Why did the man cry when he went to the doctor? He has a terminal illness progressed to the point of cure and would die in 3 hours.

Poop swing

What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut.

What do you get when you cross something with another thing that one would normally not cross with the aforementioned noun? A better love story than Twilight.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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