A dog walks into a bar. He asks for a drink in perfect english. People scream at the dog's ability to talk and scientists burt in and take the dog to dissect and study his brain, vocal chords, and dna.

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Wanna hear something funny? Sure. Okay,cool

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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what hurts more than a stab wound? two stab wounds

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If it wasn't for my horse I'd never go to college.

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Why does the man hate his job? He thinks working sucks?

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What's green and red and goes a hundred miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well you shouldn't be. I came to tell you your family died in a car crash and you have AIDS.

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

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Johnny is walking around school when he sees a kid crying. He asked the kid what he was crying about and the kid said " I was trying to talk to a girl"

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Why do men find it difficult to look each other in the eyes? The answer actually has deep routes in their psyche, subconsious, and psychological development as children.

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why didn't the blond laugh at the anti-joke? because, she was aborted in her mom's third trimester

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A man walks into a bar and says he has a talking dog. He is then taken to a mental hospital and diagnosed with schizophrenia.

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"Happy Father's Day!" said the little boy to the old man. The old man broke out in tears because he had always wanted to be a father.

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Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

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a customer walks into a store and says, "the customer is always wrong." the employee replies, "no, the customer is always right." "you just contradicted yourself."

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My dog has no nose! Then how does he smell? Terrible!

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What happened to the boy who ditched his friends and lied to them...? His appendix exploded.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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whats long and hard on a black man? his femur.

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What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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