roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This joke.

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What's the difference between watermelon and baby? I don't eat watermelon.

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a blond was walking across a river thinking how do I get across. when she saw another blond. and asked how do I get to the other side and the other said your already on the other side.

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A blonde walks into a store and tells the clerk "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes.". The blonde comes in the shop the next day with a brown wig on and says "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes". The blonde asks how he knew she was a blonde. The clerk replies, "I can see flyaway strands of your hair from the top of your wig and the synthetic hair material of the wig is not convincing.

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so your skydiving in the ocean and one of you bedroom windows break. how many bloodstains does it take to paint a peice of bread covered in goat milk? the answer is D. 2731 books on cannabalism

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know where I am, I'm blind.

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What's worse then your mouse running away? Getting hit by a plane

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A man is lonely and calls a hooker. She goes to his house, pleasures him, and then demands 42 million dollars. The man shoots the whore and throws her body into a river.

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Whos allergic to BS You R! :D

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because he felt he had nothing left to live for

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Why did the cow jump over the moon ? This is a highly unlikely situation , therefore the cow did not leave its humble pasture , let alone talk english while in the midst of jumping over a planet wich takes days to fly over .

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If 32x=8600, find x. ^ | There it is!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? chickens are very unintelligent, and often walk around aimlessly with no purpose.

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How do you stop a bus You throw a fridge at it

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Why was the boy embarassed at school? He got a noticable boner during class.

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So a dog walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Quickly, someone give me the number for animal control."

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Grammer is very important

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What was the first thing the mother did when her baby was born? Weep. The baby was a was a stillborn.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Well...not really no. It's not.

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When I walk in the rain, I get wet

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Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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