Chuck Norris doesn't shave.

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what is the difference between a banana and an orange? bread.

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Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *smiles* Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

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Why was Helen Keller a terrible driver? She was a woman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's drivers license had been revoked for all of it's DWI's.

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What's big,long,and mostly men use it? A submarine

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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Q. Whats green jumps up and down and then red? A.A frog in a mixer

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Q.whats the difference between a women's argument and a knife A. a knife has a point

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why did joe drown ? he had no arms

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Justin Bieber

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Three peasants were brought in front of the King to be rewarded for their assistance during a drought. The King told them that they could each request one thing from him that he could provide. The first man asked to be rich, so the King ordered his guards to fetch a large sack that was filled to the brim with gems and gold pieces. The man thanked the King and left his palace joyfully. The second man asked for a larger house so the King gave him access to one of his many castles. He hurriedly left, eager to try out his new home for size. The third man asked for a cat so the King gave him a cat.

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What did Jesus REAREAREAREVENAGNCEREALLY SAY when he was walkin on da waterz? And I bless this object which shalth now be known as the surfboard, Amen. Seriously, im a Christian, that sounds kinda cute in a weird way... Like aww, thats why he walked on water, not because of terrifying super powers.

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Did you know that I can't talk any louder than this... Exept when I can

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A blond, brunette, and red head jump off a building. Who hit the ground last? The red head because she was last to jump.

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A black man walks into a bar and treated with equal care

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A black man in a country bar.

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Look how far I can kick this bucket

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

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Q. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were both drowning, what kind would you make? A. PBJ

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

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Seargent: Quick seal off all the exits so he cant get away. Private: OK 2 minutes later Private: He escaped sir Seargent: What, how Private: through one of the entrances

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If a tree falls in a neigheorohood lots of people hear it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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