a woman came back from a long vacation, one of her male employes noticed that her breast were much larger, "wow, did you get a boob job?" he asked. she replied "no i have breast cancer"

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John Stamos.

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go up to some one and say "i told you it would happen" with a straight face and walk away. it should cause a LOT of confusion.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

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How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse

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How do you make a ninja fly a plane? You put a gun to his head and say fly this plane.

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Why did the kid with no legs fall down the stairs? Because his dad pushed him...

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What is the most dangerous day of the week to leave the house? Garbage day. Moral: Or rather GAAAAAAAAAARBAAAAAGE DAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *BANG BANG BANG* >:D

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Why did Suzue fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

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Got tired of McDonalds Jim?

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A squirrel runs into a bar and out-runs the bartender to get some assorted nuts on the table then runs out of the bar

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What have a blueberry and a raspberry got in common? They both can't ride a skateboard

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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If a tree falls in a forest and only one women is there to hear it, does i make a sound? Trick question: there's no forests in kitchens.

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A fast car that's painted red and green...

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H20" and the second one says, "I'll have some H20 too." The second scientist dies after drinking hydrogen peroxide.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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How do you get a blind man out of a tree? Yes.

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A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal, a dog. It's a shitzu.

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How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

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What's invisible and smells like a carrot? A rabbit's fart.

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What did the boy say to the ghost wearing a banana outfit? Holy crap! A ghost!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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