Roses are grey Violets are gray Tulips are grey Lilly's are grey Dandelions are grey Daisy's are grey Daffodils are grey I am colour blind.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know I'm not a mind reader.

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What killed the name cool? Coolio

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What do you call it when a woman doesn't want the child she is currently impregnated with? Abortion: a very sensitive and controversial topic.

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When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

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Why did the chicken cross the rode? It was being chased by a fox and did not want to be eaten.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I picked them in the meadow this morning

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Jeff. I don't know anyone by the name of Jeff. Please leave my property immedaitely.

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Why did the penguin die? He was anti-social and would rather die than huddle. So he died. THE END

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black man.

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O'Malley, an Irishman; Adam, a Jew; and Patrick, a gay man, walk into a bar. Oh crap. I just outed Patrick.

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What's the difference between my father and my mother. My father isn't an alcoholic

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whats the differences between an atari and a xbox 360 i don't know i'm not a video game nerd

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Whats worse than forgetting some thing at the supermarket? your nuts being nail gunned to the wall.

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What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

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HEY YOU!!!!

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What do Bear Grylls drink under breakfast? Tea.

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Rampage, on the streets of the poor. Secrets finally leaving, escaping, rummaging out from the land and sea of unforgiven people. A loud shatter erupts from the roaring streets filled with silence, the people are coming. Engulfing the city. Red, blue, orange and yellow. Explosives and gun fire and blood flowing down into the drains, mixing innocent blood with the impure water. Violence, detonating everywhere. I see fire everywhere. Once a family home now a lost memory which cannot be found. Everything is burning, life and love. The streets not painted with red. It's soothing the sidewalk. Hush now. A shadowy night. It's whispers reaches all corners of the earth... 'The war is over' Blue skies light up the back lanes, darkness retreating back under its box of everlasting mystery They fought a war We are fighting one too (first letter of each line + final 2 lines are the last two lines of the original poem etc)

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I advise you, don't mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.

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What's harder nailing 10 babies to 1 tree... Or nailing 1 baby to 10 trees???

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An Asian walks into a bar, but the bartender asks him to leave the bartender replies "we're closing soon" but he secretly harbored racist views that he had not yet come to terms with and was deeply ashamed of.

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How long did it take azaha to have a shit? Nine months

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Why did the homeless man get a house key cut? He didn't he's homeless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops