What kind of fire alarm does a zebra not like? One that doesn't work

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Why was the squirrel late for work? Because the traffic was nuts!

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What has four legs, and smells when it's wet? A wet dog.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Tell her to inform the police that her significant other is assaulting them and that she should file a restraining order.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

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What did the one horse say to the other. Nothing because horses can't talk.

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Why did Billy drop his ice-cream? He got stabbed multiple times

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What happened to the man who jumped into a puddle? He contracted hypothermia due to the low temperatures of the water. He died the next day.

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How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

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"I like my women like I like my coffee, in a cup." -Paul Alangadan

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Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

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Went to a zoo there was a asian shouting GOOZILLA at the reptile house I said no 2 frickly pickles please He said helwo I'm wo pong th pow wice to weet you I said does he come with subtitles Old priest said no the said hello little boy want a mint I said oh thanks I'm not a boy I'm 19 Old priest said no no you can't have one of my special mints I said wait those mints have R's on them are the rainbow mints Old priest no there raspberry I said ok don't be a stranger Old priest said oh I will I said wait your THE PRIEST He said oh I'm just a priest looking for little boys I said no your dead now jumped 30 feet in the air sat on a bird dove into him bird went threw him we made a team promised to clean the world of evil only to find out that we killed the mother of all priest Bird said tweak tweak I said yeah let's hunt them all down Shall the be a part 2 you decide

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because the walk sign said to

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I dont know, are you a tomato?

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Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

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Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

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What did the blind orphan get for christmas? Cancer

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Somewhere in prison- Germany 1940 Janurary, Tuesday, 630PM: "Why doya' think you're so innocent" "It was only a jew!"

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A hermaphrodite walks into a bakery, orders an eclair, then leaves.

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What ticks and makes a very loud noise? the bed

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You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

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cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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