A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" and the duck says "Quack". The bartender is then promptly fired and committed to the nearest mental institution for thinking that ducks can talk and order beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Scottsman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

im the real danny hamilton you stupid asshole

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Mark Twain, Jesus, and Bill Gates are sitting at a bar. Someone messed with the space time continuum again.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why do you never see hippopotamus hiding in trees? They are really good at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a baby with no future? A baby dying at birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q.why is there so much drama? A.it's a reality tv show.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q:Why did suzie fall off the swing A:She had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. what does a metal slinkey and a retarded person have in common? A. you will smile watching one fall down the steps

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many dead babies can you fit in a mini? It is variable according to the size of each baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Billy: hey dave, wanna hear a joke? Dave: what? Billy: oh yeah, you are deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your mums a penis joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the bus driver have a bad day? Someone threw a washing machine filled with radios but containing no soap at his bus. Then, a kid stapled a frog to his face. His wife died of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red Violets are blue I picked them in the meadow this morning

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is matt dalys favorite thing in the world? penis

thumb_up thumb_down -8

*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops