How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

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Why was Joey bad at playing the trumpet? He had no fingers.

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Little Davie was a kid with no arms and legs and one day his friends Came to his house and knocked on the door and asked for little Davie And asked if he wanted to come play baseball..Little Davie replied "I'd Love to but I have no arms or legs" his friends say we know that..We were Just needing a second base..

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a convicted serial killer.

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homework

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I like toast -my name is Bob and I approve of this message

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Poop swing

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What's it called when Justin Bieber has sex? Sex. The specific person partaking in sexual intercourse does not change the term used to describe it.

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where are the maternaty clothing in walmart???? The C section

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The shopkeeper said to a customer, "It's raining cats and dogs!" The customer said, "Okay, I'll take eight of them."

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It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

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Knock knock. Racism.

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what did the man with no arm get for Christmas? A rowboat

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One man's trash is another dyslexic man's shart.

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Q: What do you call Justin Bieber with a penis? A: Darn good plastic surgery.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had Gonorrhea.

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TIMMAH!

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Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

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why did the little girl fall out of the tree? She didnt have any arms

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when i go to a nude beach people think im looking for lost jewelery and treasure

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? Because they often have to interact with violent and distrustful criminals.

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knock knock piss off

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The bear woke up after his long hibernation of the winter. "Boy, am I hungry!" The bear wandered around and ate some berries. "These blackberries are too bitter and unripe for my taste, I'll go eat something else." He stumbled upon a honeybee hive and took some honey out and ate it. He was swarmed and stung by many of those bees. "That wasn't my favorite batch of honey, I'm still pretty hungry, let me go find some other food. He came across a cabin in the woods. "There maybe some food in there." To some, this was known as the Northern Vermont Massacre. It was a tragic happening. The 7 membered family, the Hernandez family, all died that day. The bear chase all of the adult and children and the house and brutally ate them.

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Whats worse than malaria? Dying from it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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