Every time im sad, I think of a T-Rex trying to put on a hat.

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How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

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So I took this girl into my room we got in bed, We got under the covers and.... We had a rather delightful game of scrabble.

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How do you fit 4 homosexuals onto a barstool? You make the barstool wider allowing for all the men to sit more comfortably on top of the stool.

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If life throws you melons, not only might you be dyslexic, but you are probably also uneducated, since the phrase is "if life gives you lemons".

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two men are sitting in a desk next to each other learning math when the equation 22+1 came up. the frist man says to the second, "24" and they both giggled. the second guy then slips his lips over the the first guy and whispers, "hey, i just thought of something funnier than 24" to which the first replies with a slight of laughter, "lemme hear it." so the second says with laughter "25".

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Who killed the ears of every human being? -Rebecca Black

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a man walks into a bar, he is injured severely and needs medical attention stat, he is rushed to the hospital where he dies that evening

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wanna no wats not funny........ aids

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A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

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What is white on the inside and red on the outside? An apple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted a car to kill him so he can get to the other side with his wife and son. In other news,I had a very nice chicken cutlet and scrambled egg dinner.

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Snarf Nuggets

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What kind of a prediction is THAT?

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Harry Styles

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Your mother is so fat that when she steps on a scale it shows her a weight that she is not very satisfied with

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what happens when 15 babies cross the street? well, some may be hit by cars. others will have to face the harsh life of reality.

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Why did the african jump in the swimming pool? Because it was a really hot day and he wanted to cool down

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Why did the blackjack player gamble every night and day and not eat, sleep, or use the bathroom? To practice for a tournament in which the grand prize was to save his dying grandmother.

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Land Rovers

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Sorry not thinking here, of course I will arrive sooner, give me 20 minutes or so (got to scout the area, you never know) As for coding, there is no hidden meaning so yeah... That is probably some "Neronist" coding format I never knew of I am using so well. Cant drive like this, so I will use a cab and wait for you at the back seat or something, I will let the Taxi cab honk the numbers of code here so you can come out knowing its safe. I sincerely thought you where at the home, according to our coordinates you are... Dont tell me that bastard built some basement over there, wow! I really miss him now, if nothing else because I would have liked a wine cellar made in less than... Sorry, ill be there asap, 20 minutes or less, nah, believe me, "fancy" is the least of things I want, and I wont be changing my mind anytime soon. See ya. I am sincerely surprised you even remember me, then again I look a lot like your crush. Abel (in case you where wondering, this is not my name either, but you get the picture by now)

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Q: How do you get 1000 babies into a bucket? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Tortilla chips.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's the police, they ask the questions.

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Wanna hear a joke? 9-11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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