I told you it would happen

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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So I was sitting in the doctor's when I noticed a guy sitting about two seats down, wearing a sombrero and pouring salt over himself. Then I found out I had cancer and promptly lost all interest in him.

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Q:What do you get when you mix a tiger and a panda? A:nothing, its impossible

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How did little Timmy die? He was ripped to shreds by a violent badger.

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What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

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A man walks into a bar. He is genetically predisposed to alcoholism, and it's destroying his family.

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sometimes i wonder why is the frisbee getting bigger? then it hits me

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Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no legs.

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? She said she can do 3

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Why did the black guy hit his head while walking through a doorway? Because he was tall.

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A man goes to a doctor and says , "My arm hurts in 3 places." the doctor says, "Dont go to those places.

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What did the guy say to the blonde? "You're a blonde."

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A man walks into a bar... who cares what happens after that Charlie Sheen is winning and Osama Bin Laden is dead

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Why can't a blonde woman drive? because she was shot in both legs and cannot operate the pedals without extreme pain.

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this kid named terry was sitting in computer class then he got punched in the face

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Did you hear about the guy who got his entire LEFT side ripped off? He's dead.

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Why is a blonde girl crying in the bathroom? Because she has been bullied and someone broke her nose.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Neigh

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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How do you make a plumber cry? Shit a brick.

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Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

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i have two hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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