How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

What killed the name cool? Coolio

Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know I'm not a mind reader.

Roses are grey Violets are gray Tulips are grey Lilly's are grey Dandelions are grey Daisy's are grey Daffodils are grey I am colour blind.

Why did Frank go to the doctor? He had a bad case of the ebeyjeebes.

What ticks and makes a very loud noise? the bed

A hermaphrodite walks into a bakery, orders an eclair, then leaves.

Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

I dont know, are you a tomato?

cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

What did the blind orphan get for christmas? Cancer

Somewhere in prison- Germany 1940 Janurary, Tuesday, 630PM: "Why doya' think you're so innocent" "It was only a jew!"

Whats worse than forgetting some thing at the supermarket? your nuts being nail gunned to the wall.

O'Malley, an Irishman; Adam, a Jew; and Patrick, a gay man, walk into a bar. Oh crap. I just outed Patrick.

Roses are red Violets are blue I picked them in the meadow this morning

Why did the chicken cross the rode? It was being chased by a fox and did not want to be eaten.

How did little Timmy die? He was ripped to shreds by a violent badger.

A black man and a mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black man.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Jeff. I don't know anyone by the name of Jeff. Please leave my property immedaitely.

Why did the penguin die? He was anti-social and would rather die than huddle. So he died. THE END

What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...