What did Batman say to Robin before going into the Batmobile? Get in the car.

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How do you stop a black kid from bouncing on the bed? Put Velcro on the cealing.

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Why can't Albert Einstein hold down a job? Because he's dead.

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Roses are flowers Violets are flowers

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What does Kim Kardashian and a Navy Vessel have in common? They are both full of seamen!

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what do you call a 19th century steam train driver ? i dont know , depends what his mother named him

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Whats worst then listening to you girl friends problems? Nothing.

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Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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whats worse then girls playing sport ? girls cutting grass

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When you hit an animal Realize your out of your mind Then realize the animals mind is over there in the ditch.

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The Game.

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The only time your mother was ever considered "hot" was at her cremation.

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A policeman walks into a bar. He goes inside to greet his friend who happens to be the bartender. Another man walks into the bar. This man is a regular customer and goes to the bar almost every other night. The policeman leaves and goes back on duty.

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

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What's worse than finding a holocost in your apple. A truck full of dead babies then what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babies in your apple. Braving to pich fork them out

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Why did the fat guy survive the plain crash He didn't he died like everyone else

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Why was the man reading various news articles on the Internet at 2:21 in the morning? Because at that time he could not sleep. Which meant he tried to find something else to fill his time up with.

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Why did the chicken refuse to cross the road? Yo dawg, dat chicken saw dat hoe Sally crossin da road, dat biatch got hit wit a fridge. Dat chicken was like "hell naw, yall must be trippin, i aint finna die over dat shiet homie, peace!"

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What did the man say to the woman he was in love with? Sure, I understand and I'm okay with being just friends.

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What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? No one knows he hasn't been able to open his presents yet.

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what do a parrot and a hippo have in common? i want to kill every non white human being!!!!

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Whats worse than 911..? The plane ride there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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