How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

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Q: whats pink and fluffy? A: Pink fluff.

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Why did the white bartender kick out a black man and his Mexican friend out of the bar? It was closing time

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Your mums a penis joke.

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Whats that cool sound it makes when you thumbs a comment?

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how many black people are... wait stereotypical jokes are for fags

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Roses are violets red is blue i like lizards they have fur

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What do you do when a black man points a gun at your face? you do what he tells you to do.

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Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

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A black man went to jail while a white man received $200 dollars. They were playing a friendly game of monopoly.

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Why was the gay kid beaten to death Because he was also an outstanding racist and lived in a highly populated african american community.

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a bald man walks into a hairdressers and demands beans on toast.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. One says "I'll have H20", the other says "I'll have a beer." The first one is the one to drive them to their homes.

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Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

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What do the poor have that the rich need? Nothing.

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What's black, white, and red all over? The color scheme. Except for the black and white. They're shades.

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An asian is driving a car. He observes the speed limit and uses his turning signals while switching lanes.

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Pizza's don't scream when there in then oven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i got one question Screw You

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Why was Frankenstein green? Because he painted himself green. Frankenstein is the scientist, not the monster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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