- Knock knock - Excuse me, I don't have time, my house is on fire ! - We're the firemen.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q.What do you call a black man flying a plane? A. A black pilot you racist bastard

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the little boy get food poisoning? Because his family can't afford to buy organic food, and can only afford McDonald's burgers, where their cows are forced to stand in their own feces.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

jamie looks at jacob for arousment. jacob looks at his dog.........

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happened to the boy who cried wolf? He was brutally raped and killed, Inglewood is really not a place you want your children growing up.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Once a upon of time, there was 7 dwarfs. Their names are Sleepy, Stupid, Sexy, Shithead, Sonovabitch, Shutup, and Simon. They are a street gang called the 7 dwarfs and was notorious for causing trouble. All the dwarfs got away from the police except for Simon, because that was his real name.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

These Jokes suck.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the kid say before he died Nothing he was terminally ill

thumb_up thumb_down -3

ME NAME IS JEFF

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Sarah fall of the swing ? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Well it cant be sarah

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a person with no legs playing soccer? A soccer player.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats the difference of the mexican and the bench the mexicans alive

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Steven hawking walks into a bar. a.w j.p

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What would Jesus do? Do? You mean like do it? You have a dirty mind.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Do you know what's the no.1 cause of pedophellia? A: Sexy kids

thumb_up thumb_down -5

YO MAMMA IS SO STUPID, she was recently diagnosed with severe mental retardation and will have to be cared for 24/7

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a bumble bee walked into a bar, looking tired and worn out. 'long day, eh?' said the barman. 'yes' replied the bee. 'i was flying along to collect some honey when i noticed a large obstical obstructing me. i stuck my pointy needle in it, and according to legend, i will die in short hours to come' suddenly michael jacksons thriller flicked on in the jukebox, the bumble bee boogied all night long until he slowly passes away in the early hours of the morning. long live boogie bee.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops