how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

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Q:What do you get when you mix a tiger and a panda? A:nothing, its impossible

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What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit? The black guy is a sentient human being, and the bucket of shit is just a metal container filled with feces

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A guy walks into a bar, A metal one, OUCH!

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

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Why was the asian boy made fun of in the locker room? Because of the nipple piercing he had.

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What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy running down a hill? Two good friends enjoying the countryside together.

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charlie sheen losing

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Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins

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A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

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A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

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Wanna hear an anti-joke?

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Polite say "Hey you, get out of that tree."

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These Jokes suck.

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Muslim athletes.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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What do you call a black guy running from the cops? Nothing. He was out for his morning jog and he happened to run by the police.

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Moral"We all miss someone sometimes during our life, but just remain patient as you aim again, reload and hit that someone!"

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Knock, knock Who's there? Not your dead Nan

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Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

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There was 2 men walking down the street one fell on the floor from a heart attack and the other started to molest a lonely child. They then heard a bang and they found a dead baby lying in a bin. The moral of this story is to.... Knock Knock Whos there? The Police? The Police who? The police we are here to inform you your nan got hit by a truck and got decapitaited, Sorry but your nan is dead. way

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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