Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she lost her balance.

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Why did the man's motorcycle not move when the street light turned green? Because it was a filing cabinet.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Q. why are black people so good at sports? A. Hardwork and dedication.

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Why did Michael Vick run? Because he was being chased by defenders.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"

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Who is the fastest man on earth? To get to the other side.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he's stupid.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her

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1Q: Quick! Ask me if I'm a lemon!! 2A: Your not a lemon 1A: :/ oh :/

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ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

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Roses are red Violets are blue God makes things beautiful... What happened to you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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its snowing on mount fuji

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head

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why was the black man forced to sit at the back of the bus ? it was a busy day.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. I have a gun. What did i do?

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Rabid squirrels attacked Blake's face as winged pickles perched on Phoebe's hair.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Yo mamma's so fat it's a legitimate medical condition

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops