Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

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What do you call a man with 3 arms, 6 ears, 9 fingers, and a red clown nose? His name.

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Why did the mentally handicapped kid fail his math test? Because he didn't study.

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OY SHIT ITS YOUR MOM!!!

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Your momma's so broke she might be eligible for government assistance. Seriously she should totally look into it.

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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What is the difference between a mom and a dad? One is a mom and the other is a dad. Why couldn't Fred see the board? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his coat? Where's my coat.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

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A man had a blue hat, a yellow hat and a red hat. This man has three hats.

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What did the man say to the duck? Nothing ducks don't talk.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

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How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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What's brown and ryhmes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot. You racist bastard.

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What do you call a black man speeding away in a Ferrari. A wealthy man who is late for work.

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What do you call a guy with four heart chambers, two pairs of extremities, and an aortic arch? Anatomically normal.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to order a couple drinks, and shortly leaves after drinking them, later ending up in a fatal car accident.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck at poetry, show me your tits!

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Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

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Why was Steve hungry? Because the last time he ate was yesterday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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