what did the left nut say to the right nut? The guy above us is a real dick huh?

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How do you stop the baby from touching the stove? Cut of its arms.

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whats red and bad for your teeth... A brick.

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How many women's right's leaders does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't change anything.

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What do people say when a dyslesic person scores a goal in soccer good job that was a nice goal

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Why did the monkey die? he was stapled to a grenade

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So 2 black guys walk into a bar and the bartender looks around and say "what will you fine gentlemen have?" and they order and payed their tab and could not have been more courteous, amirite?

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who cares wats behind the green class door people cant be in it

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there is a mexican and a black guy in the back of a car, who is driving? The cop

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My life :(

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how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

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Q:What do you get when you mix a tiger and a panda? A:nothing, its impossible

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What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit? The black guy is a sentient human being, and the bucket of shit is just a metal container filled with feces

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If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

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Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins

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Why was the asian boy made fun of in the locker room? Because of the nipple piercing he had.

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charlie sheen losing

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

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What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy running down a hill? Two good friends enjoying the countryside together.

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What do the poor have that the rich need? Nothing.

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A guy walks into a bar, A metal one, OUCH!

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What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

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A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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