Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

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Why couldn't little Johnny play sports like the rest of the kids? He was diagnosed with polio at the age of 3 and has limited use of his legs.

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Why did people on a plane die? Because it crashed.

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Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

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A man walks into a bar. He backs up, unwraps it, and enjoys its chocolatey deliciousness.

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A guy walks into a bar with a watermelon under his shirt. The bartender asks what is under his shirt. He says, a watermelon.

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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I just farted, and now I have to Chit!

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What swims in the ocean? Fish

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what did the blind deaf orphan get for christmas? cancer

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Honestly though bud, are you wasted? XD

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Who likes to be fisted? Sock puppets.

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Poop swing

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool The tragic drowning of a quadrapalegic

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

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Women's rights.

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Your mom is so fat that she enjoys junk food regularly.

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What starts with 's' and ends in 'ex'? S.e.x -XH

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A man is approached by a mysterious character in the streets, offering to tell him a dark and amazing tale. The man declines and walks away.

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Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his coat? Where's my coat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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