(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A guy walks into a bar what does he say? OW.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

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Q: whats better than having sex? A: nothing

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Women's Rights.

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What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

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Fox News.

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What is brown and gurgles? dead baby casserole

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u jelly?

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Whats worse then the quote "Do it, hit her!" The quote "Do it, Hitler!"

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If she is under the age of 18 years old and is identified by your state as a minor, shes too young for you bro.

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Nicolas Cage's acting.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Cut the rope.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You're not that bad...you're still better at giving hand jobs than your dad is."

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What do you call a ostrich with no legs? Damn, that's funny.

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2 black guys are riding in a car, whos driving? The cops.

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i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

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How do you drown a blond? Keep her head underwater until her lungs fill with water and her bodily functions stop working.

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Knock knock Who's there? Hector Hector who? ....I forgot the rest of the joke but your mom is a whore.

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Q: what's the difference between a human and a gorilla? A: they can both talk, apart from the gorilla

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on a stool? Ask them kindly to do so. Their sexual orientation is of little to no importance in this situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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