A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

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A Mexican, an Asian, a black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a hispanic............... i forgot.

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How can you shed 10 pounds in one day? Get your legs amputed.

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why did the little girl fall out of the tree? She didnt have any arms

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What do you call an englishman who wakes up in Africa Confused

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Why do those Indian people have that dot on their forehead ? Idk but it makes a good target.

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Why did the terrorist miss the flight he was supposed to blow up? He forgot his passport.

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Why can't a Tyrannosaurus-Rex clap? It's Dead.

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Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

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heyy emit chase wazzup

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What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut.

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Yor Mama is soooooooooooo fat, when she looked in da mirror... it cracked.

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Why is a building called a building when it's already been built? My pinky is pink and my liver helps me live.

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Why did the women knock on the door? she needed to do a shit

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Well neither has he.

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(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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A guy walks into a bar what does he say? OW.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Q: whats better than having sex? A: nothing

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Women's Rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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