"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

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There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

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How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge? Well, because there's an elephant in your fridge.

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An Englishmen, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, and ordered a beer. They later went home and slept. They woke up the next morning with a slight hangover.

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Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

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How do Helen keller's parents punish her? They sternly reprimand her for her misdeeds.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Herpes, Now you do too.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure but my guess is that there was some logical reasoning behind the action.

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Why did the baboon fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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FUCK YOU NEVEN

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Did you hear about the guy who fell out of the stands at the ranger game? He died.

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"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

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Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

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What stands on the corner oof every major city at night? A cop

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*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

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what do you call a man with no legs? disabled.

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if you can raed tihs steence it menas you are ceelvr eugnoh to uendnrstad tihs: no sex cusaes dgdoy eeys

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You wanna see my secret freckle? NO! How about my butt? What!!!!!!!

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Why was Sally crying She got a high five In the face With a chair

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

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What do you call white people that live in a trailer park? Residents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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