There are two types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't. I happen to be one of those who can.

Roses are Red Violets are Black Why is your chest As flat as your back

Why did the guy get hit by a bus? He walked out into traffic.

What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

A Jewish man walks into a grocery store. He purchases the items he needs and leaves.

HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

What do you call a black man at the head of the U.S.? A mistake.

What did the diabetic boy with Celiac get for christmas? A gift from his loving parents.

Why did the man fall of the building? Someone shot both of his kneecaps.

Q: What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? A: Popcorn Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? A: F'uck you -Ap

If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

What do you do when life hands you lemons? Such a statement assumes that life is an actual person, which is impossible. Thus, you do not need to concern yourself with what you must do when life hands you lemons.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz 7 8 9

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

why did the indian kill the buffalo? he was suffering from a psychological disorder and took to killing innocent animals in order to relieve the pent up rage caused by repressed memories of childhood abuse.

knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

Why did the vampire die? He had AIDS.

whats worse than being cold? having a pine cone shoved up your ass.

Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, and the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk.

How do you know if your friend is dead? You shoot him in the face!

Your mother is so ugly that she looks like you.. :)

Ok, I have a knock knock joke for ya.......you start.

A man using Apple Maps walks into a bar. Or maybe a hospital... or possibly a church.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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