What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A duck walks into a bar he buys a drink and says To the bartender "Put it on my bill." the duck is charged With $800.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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"What is the sound of one hand clapping?" "I'm not quite sure, but your on fire."

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Why didn't the Irishman want to drink anymore? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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How can you tell if a duck is sleeping? Look at its eyes.

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What's sad about 2 black men driving off a cliff? They were my friends.....

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Why did the man spill his coffee on his daughter? Because he is dying from Mad Cow disease so his hand experienced a traumatic spasm.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

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How do you cripple a fireman? You push him down the stairs.

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Neither have I

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Q: What's Black and White and Red All Over? A: This is a logical fallacy. If something is "Red All Over," it is implied that no other color can be showing. Thus, whatever innate Black and/or Whiteness was formerly attributed to said object will now have been inherently obfuscated by its Redness.

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What's behind Chuck Norris' beard? His chin

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2 out of 4 questions. How do you get an elephant in a fridge? Open it, take the girrafe out, put the elephant in, and close it.

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Why did the girl fall down the hill? Her boyfriend pushed her.

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How do you make a burns victim cry? You show them a mirror.

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Why did the polar bear cross the road? He didn't, there are no roads in Antarctica.

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A black man walks into a bar and says, "ouch."

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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Whats white and sticky and falls from the sky? The Cumming of the lord

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Youre in your car, and you stop at a light you see a home less person holding a sign that says "Home less and hungry, anything helps." You ask if they want a box of cereal, "No thanks." They replied, you ask why not? "Well, I really just want to go to the movies."

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What is red and itchy? Something that itches and it turns red if you itch it to much

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Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

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No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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