yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

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Why did your mom cross the street? She didn't. She was a home. Making me a sandwhich.

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Q: What did the man ask the waiter when he was seated at Cracker Barrel? A: May I please have more golf tees?

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So I took this girl into my room we got in bed, We got under the covers and.... We had a rather delightful game of scrabble.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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A woman walks into the kitchen to make a sandwich because she is hungry and she likes sandwiches.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There are other flowers in the world But you wouldn't know it from this poem.

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How did my grand parents go about surviving the holocaust? Well, for starters, they weren't Jewish, they never lived in Germany, and to be honest, my grandparents probably would have supported the Nazi's because they are right wing pricks

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Why did the black man skip every other step on the stairs? Because he had long legs and it was faster.

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What do you call red eyes in the dark? A high black man

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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what does the nba stand for? Nothing But Africans

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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what makes reed stop talking? LYRENS SHARPENED PENCIL

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Nicholas Salek did not write the message below. It was a joke one of his mates played!!

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Thumbs this down

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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What is funny and has three legs? Not the Holocaust.

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Yo mamma's so fat it's a legitimate medical condition

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How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

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Why are rich guys gay? They can afford to be

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How do you teach a kid to ski you strap it to the back of a polar bear

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Q: What do you do when you meet someone new? A: You don`t know and expect me to do so? Get a life!

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Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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