What happens when you yell at people who have high blood pressure? They might get heart attacks & die.

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? (NO) Neither have I!

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A man climbs up a tree. Once he reaches the top he is scared and thus incapable of getting down.

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How do you differentiate a Canadian from an American ? The American will have an American Passport,while the Canadian will have a Canadian passport.

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Nippies

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What did the cashier say to the customer? You're total is $27.95

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How do you make a burns victim cry? You show them a mirror.

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Bra*don Che*ey is tall. Facebook me please... Im desperate

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench A: The NBA

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If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies? You can't buy a bakers dozen of dead babies at Tim Hortons.

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Jimmy was skipping in the park one day when a young boy stopped him. "Hello there, would you like to be friends? We can go behind the old oak tree and play soccer!" asked the boy. "Ok!" replied Jimmy, and they went off together to play. The so-called 'young boy' was actually a wanted midget rapist. Jimmy was brutally raped and filmed. The film was later uploaded onto the internet where it blew up in a matter of weeks. Jimmy had to move schools 6 times and had to go to counselling every week. He finds it hard making friends and later went on to become a heavy cocaine addict.

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How do Mexicans have sex? They get in bed, and the man puts his dick in his partner's vagina.

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Q. Why did the boy throw up on the bus? A. All his friends around him died in the accident

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Goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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A black man walks into a bar and says, "ouch."

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A priest, a pedophile, and a child rapist walks into a bar. He orders a beer.

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Knock, Knock Why did you just say knock knock?

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what?

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When your scuba diving why do u jump off backwards beacause if u jump forwards than u witll still be in the boat!!!!!!

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what did the horse say after the man told him to have a good day? nothing, horses dont talk.(:

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Whats plastic and little boys turn it on? A game cube, and Michael Jackson. Well maybe not anymore since hes dead...

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter it's not going to come to you anyway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops