What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Dyeing of cancer.

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Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because people have encroached on it's natural habitat.

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why did the polar bear bury his face into snow? because he saw the 241543903 post and wanted to join in so he used a portal gun to teleport his head into some guy's freezer.

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how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

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For no reason at all Pac-man was being chased by evil monsters while eating his luch...He choked on his food and died

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Q: Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: She had no arms... Q: Knock Knock! Q: Who's there? A: NOT SARA! --- Q: Okay... What song does Sara sing to her arms? A: Somebody That I Used To Know... --- Now. If you're happy and you know it clap your... nevermind O_O

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A man walks into a bar. I forgot the rest of the story but the punchline goes something something something something your mom is wwhore.

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Q:Why did the man throw his clock out the window A:Because he didn't like his clock

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A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He cracked his skull and died in the hospital shorty afterward.

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Two women are sitting quietly in a corner, minding their own business.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Bob.

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a guy walked into my house and asked "why do you do the beep test every arvo?" i suddenly replied, im matt minors i get chicks

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Q: What's long and brown? A: The unemployment line.

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What's gay, has ten eyes and is gay. One D. Kelvin Yang.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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What do you do when you see a black child riding a bike? Think to yourself, "Wow you just don't see many kids riding bikes anymore because there too busy playing video games in their basement."

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So there are two kids in bumper cars at the local fair. A nuke was set off underground and most of the metropolitan was annihilated.

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what's difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

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Look how far I can kick this bucket

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which sex position produces the ugliest children? go ask ur mom

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I slipped you some roofies You'll be out in a few

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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