What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the Asian woman drive 20mph on the highway? There was a deadly car accident with many fatalities.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a dead prostitute? - You (or friends name) in 10 years

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the tissue dance? Because it had a boggie

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What goes good with coca cola? Thirst

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Have you ever heard about the black man who got shot my a goat? Neither did I.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I said I hate niiggers

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If a fish eats fish bait, and a dog eats dog bait, what does a master eat? Anything he feels like eating at the given moment provided it is in accordance to his diet and beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Blarg, with ritalin everything tastes like cardboard, but on the bright side I can taste, lucky me I am so handsome the ones that attacked us did not want to ruin "my pretty face", so I just got a few cuts before I broke his, they never see a steel fist arriving you know... Listen, you are wrong, you gotta think less about me, and much more about yourself, you feel like you should worry more about me emotionally, but worry about your feelings more despite that because I can more or less hear your body saying "please take care of me", I mean I can more or less hear the urges and needs of women, thats why I am so good around them, I dont put them in a trance "vampire style" i just make them feel safe around me because it is safe around me, I am safe at all times because I am who I am. Listen, worry about your needs, turn of all mental alarms, I can sense (I dont know how, Richard Bandler put that into me) that you are in lack of sleep, food and sleep (I can sense it now, you havent slept well since you thought I was dead, it makes logical sense, it always does, its not magic, its the human potential unleashed) So take care of yourself, turn of your body`s needs one by one, shower, eat, drink (eat something good), and if you are at the couch, go get a pillow and lie down, this is about you, because I cant feel well if those I love and care about dont feel well okay? Please allow me to sleep easily and try getting some sleep yourself even if my guys are 15 minutes away. Let me know that you feel better.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

stevie wonder watched a movie yesterday

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Do you ride the bus to school or do you take your lunch?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

jay hefti is so cool and alex askew is hot

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you call a white guy on a bus load of blacks guys? probably his name...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Three moose were in the middle of the road. They were then shot by a maniac hunter.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If you are floating down main street in a canoe and your front right propeller falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones

thumb_up thumb_down +6

--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

thumb_up thumb_down +6

you are a åsshole :)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops