What did the midget say to the leprechaun? Nothing.....midgets don't usually converse with leprechauns....and leprechauns aren't real.

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How do you shoot a basketball? With your hands

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing. she had no arms so I pushed her off

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Random Guy: "Oh god, why was I born with so much common sense?" God: "You must be mistaken, or else you wouldn't be asking me."

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A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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65% of people are starving 32% are over 190 lbs. Think about it

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F: what is BLUE and has 400 whells ? Q: NOTHING !!!

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Why was the boy afraid of the dark? he was blind

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What do you call a guy who died in a stampede? Grandpa.

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Your mom.

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Why didn't Kurt Cobain drive to work on Monday? He killed himself.

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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A man walked into a Persian dentist office. After a few hours he leaves the office with his mouth feeling much better because the oral-surgery went exeptionally well.

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Yo momma so fat, she has hypertension, diabetes, and a higher risk of heart disease.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your mum. Your mum who? Dinner is ready, come down stairs.

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a man walks into a bar, he is injured severely and needs medical attention stat, he is rushed to the hospital where he dies that evening

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your family is dead. Your family is dead, who? Your family is dead.

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jamie looks at jacob for arousment. jacob looks at his dog.........

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What's the difference between a whore and a blonde? There is not enough information to answer this question.

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What did Osama bin Laden say to the Navy SEALS? Nothing. There was insufficient time to hold a conversation before they shot him in the face.

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E= McVagina

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How do you treat people that cannot say no in just two seconds? (redux and spellchecked) Treatment: Hi...: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! SAY IT MUAHAHAHA! People: NO PLEASE I CANT! NOOOOOO! *door unlocks* Problem solved, NEXT!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops