Q: What did Delaware? A: A black dress. She was on her way to her father's funeral.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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what did the deaf man say to his long-lost paraplegic brother? He did audibly make noise as deafness from birth meant that the capacity to form words through sound was much reduced, and instead simply gestured a greeting of loving familiarity.

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There are two types of people in the world: humans

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What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

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Why do black people enjoy watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will have her institutionalized as soon as they find her.

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What is worse then finding a worm in your apple!? Getting raped!

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his whole family

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because a tree fell on her. Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally...

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What ended the black family's picnic? Rain.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

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Why did god smite the homosex man with all of heavens wrath? For shits and gigs.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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What's worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Ebola

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What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

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Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

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Why does Reid always have a blank stare on his face? Because he is constantly searching for the answer as to why his sister was raped, stabbed, and burned alive all right in front of his face.

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Woman Rights

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What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

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Why couldn't the Asian drive? He was blind

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Did you hear about the guy who fell out of the stands at the ranger game? He died.

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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