Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: why was the movie called the last house on the left? A: because they went to the last house that was on the left.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the pirate say to the donkey? Rrrrrrrrrrr you a donkey?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats Yellow and has arms. A lemon i lied about the arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Youve got to spell the name right you dead dylan fuck

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If you're happy and you know it go to hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the child cross the road? Her parents were abusing her and she wanted to get hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you do when you see a black child riding a bike? Think to yourself, "Wow you just don't see many kids riding bikes anymore because there too busy playing video games in their basement."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Wanna hear a great joke? (any answer) Your dad's choice of condom.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: A jew and asian and a normal white guy walk into a resturan, who orders the cheapest meal. A: the Asian, its 1940 and the jews dead

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the man follow the law? He didn't want to get arrested

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the gay man die? He had AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, violets are blue, I told you she was my Mom, but that didn't stop you!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is red and doesnt exist? No-tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He got hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why couldn't the asian man drive? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A horse walked into a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse then replied, "Well my wife is dying of cancer, my mother is a drug addict, and my two kids are in the hospital for 3rd degree burns."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming? Here come the elephants! What did Jane say when the elephants were coming? Here come the plums! (She was color blind.)

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops