Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

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Wanna hear an anti-joke?

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When your scuba diving why do u jump off backwards beacause if u jump forwards than u witll still be in the boat!!!!!!

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What do you call a black man with a gun? A cop

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What is funnier than onion gravy? Mushroom gravy.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of problems with money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem makes no sense FIRETOE!!!

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Why did the cat have hair? Because he did.

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What do you call a black man with a PhD and loving family? A nigger

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cause 7 was a petophile and 6 has four children

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What is brown red and white? I don't know, that's why I asked you

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A redhead walks into a hairdressing salon and asks to have her hair dyed black due to being a subject of bullying and social rudeness.

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What does a Chinese girl get for Christmas? New parents...

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed? Neurotransmitters essential for happiness, such as serotonin and norepinephrine, were in rather low supply in the poor elf's brain.

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Why is it impossible to travel faster than the speed of light? Because it travels pretty darn fast.

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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Why did the guy get hit by a bus? He walked out into traffic.

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What did the serial killer eat for breakfast? You.

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why did timmy die he was shot in the head by terrorists

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Guy 1: why are you such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most p***y

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Two cannibals were eating a clown. Good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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