I told you it would happen

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Wanna Hear a joke.... Corey Jacobs is a FAT ASS

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I was going to post some witty jokes, but then I realized they weren't funny.

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Why did the guy crash his car? Because he didn't want to crash his truck.

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A tiger walks into a bar, the patrons ran out terrified.

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Tell you something funny.

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What does rainbow stand for? Rick Astley Is Nesting By Our Window to harass us

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was tied to the first Monkey. Why did the third Monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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What is similar about a goose and newly weds? They both aren't chairs

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see the CN tower. He was then hit by a fridge dropped by people running tests on the top floor.

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Why is a blonde girl crying in the bathroom? Because she has been bullied and someone broke her nose.

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Did you hear about the guy who got his entire LEFT side ripped off? He's dead.

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this kid named terry was sitting in computer class then he got punched in the face

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A man walks into a bar... who cares what happens after that Charlie Sheen is winning and Osama Bin Laden is dead

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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Knock knock Who is there Banana Banana who Knock knock Who's there Banana Banana who Knock knock WHO'S THERE orange ...orange who Orange you glad I'm a cop here to tell you your family died in a horrible mask murdering and didn't say bannana again?

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How do you call a dog with no legs? You can't call it, you have to go and pick it up.

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What's worse than your dad being hit by a car? Your family being hit by a bus.

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Jews

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What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops