What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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If you're happy and you know it go to hell.

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Why did the man die? He got shot!

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I had a date. She was a pegasister. Since MLP was magical, I disappeared.

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What's worse than the holocaust? anti-joke

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I killed someone today. :D

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What do you call Michael? A homosexual person who is nice, however he is still gay.

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A horse walks into a bar and doesnt order a drink. Because he cant.

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What do u call a man with no arms and no legs and is laying in front of a door? Matt

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a lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for directions. the Bartender takes him into a room and rapes-him

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on a stool? Ask them kindly to do so. Their sexual orientation is of little to no importance in this situation.

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Two women are sitting quietly in a corner, minding their own business.

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Two men go hunting and one has a sudden heart attack. The other man calls 911 and immediately tells the operator his location and the nature of the emergency. Rescue workers arrive on the scene in a timely manner and the man makes a full recovery.

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A young boy walks into a bar and asks for directions or a map. The bartender takes him into a backroom and gives him a map he just happened to have. The boy continues on his way and the bartender is happy that he did a good deed.

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why did the girl break up with her boyfriend? hes gay

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because people have encroached on it's natural habitat.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender does not ask about its facial characteristics, because he is wondering why there is a horse standing in his bar.

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What is another way to call a procrastinator? Avery annoyed and bored child who does not want to do her homework and is looking up many different anti-jokes for a laugh. You know who you are...

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What's made of wood and has an eraser? a 2x4 i lied about the eraser.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one's a watermelon.

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A man walked into a bar. He sustained a mild concussion and a brusied pelvis

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Why did the man follow the law? He didn't want to get arrested

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Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

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Why can't the man have babies? His nuts was cut off and he eventually bleed to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops