- Anti Joke

A blonde, brunette and redhead are walking in the forest when they come across a set of tracks. The brunette says, "Those are dear tracks." The redhead says, "Those are elk tracks." The blonde says, "Those are moose tracks." They are then hit by bus.

a man gets raped. -teagan doherty-

Q: What did the boy say to his mum when he saw a Lion A: Hey mum that's a Lion

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a girl who was knocked off a swing by a fridge.

There was a girl who was allergic to peanuts she ate peanuts and died the next day. She got hit by a bus.

Why was a group of children being driven away by a black man? Michael was the students bus driver, he was taking them to the zoo.

whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

Guess what my grandma told me yesterday.. Nothing she's dead.

A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

What did Bush say to Obama was elected? I'm going to have you assassinated.

Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

What do you call a horse with no legs? Useless.

What's sad about an old black woman being hit by a Porsche? She was my third grade English teacher, and had a huge impact upon my life.

What's white and sticky? A glue stick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What did the Jew say the Black man after their meal? "Don't worry, I'll pay the bill."

why did the pirate have a patch? to crack the software he had downloaded

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs is both the same.

Yo mamma's so fat it's a legitimate medical condition

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.