- Anti Joke

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

How do you fit four gays on a barstool? You turn it upside down

knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz 7 8 9

why did the indian kill the buffalo? he was suffering from a psychological disorder and took to killing innocent animals in order to relieve the pent up rage caused by repressed memories of childhood abuse.

If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

wat is the difference between rainbows and poop? I LOVE RAINBOWS!

A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar. That was just the first person.

After saving my own life after killing my father, and saved my wife by killing my mother I feel free from their burden on my shoulders and am ready to face life... Yet in the back of my skull I keep thinking "After this anti-joke of a life, I wonder what`s next"... ...And HELL I AM READY FOR WHATEVER COMES! I SAVED MY OWN LIFE BY KILLING MY FATHER, I SAVED MY WIFE BY KILLING MY MOTHER (and breaking the wrists and legs kneecaps of her "boyfriend" as he attacked me, My father broke a vertebrae in my neck which has left my back twisted and in constant pain, my mother chopped of my arm when I was six and proceeded to beat the shit out of me with it leaving me with an ortopedic arm! WHAT THE FUCK COULD TAKE ME DOWN NOW? WHAT THE FUCK CAN STOP THE DEMON THAT IS LEFT IN ME! So MERRY Mtherfcking Christmas... My wife`s mother gave me 3000 dollars for christmas (deposited in account already) while my parents FORGOT my birthdays, and "forgot" to get me anything for christmas WHILE STILL GIVING MY BROTHER CHECKS AND PLANE TICKETS FOR HIM (AND HIS FRIENDS! Not me) FOR CHRISTMAS! They did however always invite me to my brothers birthday... Which is EXACTLY TEN DAYS AFTER MINE! I STOPPED REMINDING THEM OF THAT after they not only beat the SHIT out of me and WATERBOARDED me for reminding them... But also forgot it already the VERY NEXT DAY! They "bought" me christmas presents after I began working... WITH MY OWN MONEY! Not only that but they would get me a gift of 50 bucks while drawing out several thousand dollars from my account! SOME XMAS GIFT! Then my father faked my signature and withdrew 30.000 dollars from my savings... So a strange, salt liquid substance is dropping from my eyes as I actually get money and not permanent scars and crippling injuries while getting mugged from my mother in law instead... Which proves (at least to my psychiatric evaluator) that I am not insane nor a psychopath, but a caring guy with a fucked up life... Make no mistake though, step on my foot, and I will break yours and stick them up your ass... I am fucking scared of joining my wife and her family for christmas dinner, but what I fear today is bullshit compared to the torture which was my life until it was discovered that I was covering up for my mothers cocaine abuse and I was finally released from prison... (which was a great stay which I volutarily took as was 17 year old to get away from my mother). SO MERRY FUCKlNG XMAS EVERYBODY! Nero "Moral Man" aka Black Metal. My followers no longer call me twisted metal after hearing why I killed my "mommy and daddy". I am done with my rant, the nightmares might continue, but at least the age where I long for them rather than facing reality are over, so no more stories about how I broke my fathers skull and chocked my mother (one handed, remember the other is and ortopedic one because she chopped it off)... Nah, that is in my past. Judge me, hate me, find me and challenge me for a fight (rather do not) but dont tell me I am not metal as fuck. Oh and thumb me down, no seriously it makes me cry, yeeeeeees of course, seriously! Dont make me laugh... And I am a lawyer... Classes in prison (got an extended sentence for killing two guys there because they where going to rape me) So the future looks no darker than the future of a lawyer once again looking for a job... Nice try fucking me over family...

What do a turtle and a tree have in common? They both can fly except for the turtle............and the tree

Why did the black student fail his math test? Because he was severely traumatized by the school shooting that had occurred during the test. He was later relieved to hear that the teacher did not count the test, because the legal paperwork surrounding the death of 12 students was somewhat overwhelming.

Why are all of the cars in the left lane? Because you are in Winona MN.

How many Asians did it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1 Asians are just like every one else

What is worse the the Holocaust? Nothing

Why did the Dentist recommend Oral B? He had been paid by the company and thus legally bound to do so.

There is a dead guy on the road lying in a puddle of blood with a gunshot wound on his head. What happened? He died

What's the difference between Michael J. Fox and a blender? Michael J. Fox is a successful actor starring in many movies, and a blender is a kitchen appliance.

What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital due to a large aneurysm that has burst in his brain because he walked into the bar.

Q: whats good about having sex with 18 year olds? A: there's 18 of them.

When I eat Mi Familia Mexica food, it burns when I go to the bathroom. Is that bad?

whats worse than having your sextape leaked to the media? not being a kardashian when it happens.

Why did the litle boy's hat come off? cause he got hit by a train!

hi patrick

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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