Why did the chicken cross the road? because the walk sign said to

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What did the one horse say to the other. Nothing because horses can't talk.

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knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

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Why did the Romans conquer everyone? They were power-hungry.

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what can you give to a millionaire to make him happy? sex

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Dylan Hodge fingered himself. Hah.

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A black guy walks into his bar. So he pays his tab and couldn't have been more coureious.

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Brooklyn Nets or New Jersey Nets? Theres a difference

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Two people are walking down the street, unaware of the highly polluted environment and that they could save a life.

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What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because while he was swinging, his friends dared him to jump off and called him a chicken when he didn't. Still hesitant, he tried to jump off, but his arm caught on the swing chain and he fell face first into the tanbark. He needs reconstructive surgery to repair his face.

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

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Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

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A drunken man grabbed a gun and shot his entire family to death. Luckily, a even drunker man had shot them moments before, so it really only served to ruin the perfectly good wall behind them with bullet holes.

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F: what is BLUE and has 400 whells ? Q: NOTHING !!!

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titanic vs 9/11 who would win? Well the titanic backwards is a ship which saves lives and 9/11 backwards is a building on fire spitting out airplanes

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What happened to the man who jumped into a puddle? He contracted hypothermia due to the low temperatures of the water. He died the next day.

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You know what's funny? Lot's of things.

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Jesus once got nailed to a cross, beaten and gave his life in order to prove he was immortal. Safe to say, people remain impressed even 2000 years later. Moral: Lol, hey, its quite a feat, but what life did he give if he was immortal? Jesus is a okay dude though, he stole donkeys from stables (for transport) and when his disciples asked if stealing was bad he replied: God will provide for them. Awesome.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What is matt dalys favorite thing in the world? penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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