The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

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your mommas so fat because she has diabetes

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why did the little boy put a bandaid on his knee. it doesn't really matter, he has cancer.

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What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

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What did the engineer say to the supervisor? Hi.

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I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

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What do you call a flying jew? Smoke.

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What dud the baseball player do when he struck out? Walked back to the bench

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So I took this girl into my room we got in bed, We got under the covers and.... We had a rather delightful game of scrabble.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs is both the same.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did the sushi say to the bee? Nothing, a piece of sushi can't talk and a bee wouldn't listen, stupid.

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1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

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what do you call a black person in the dark? ........invisible

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i homeless man asked for ome change. he didnt get any because people were afraid he would spend it on drugs

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Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

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So there are two kids in bumper cars at the local fair. A nuke was set off underground and most of the metropolitan was annihilated.

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Starving children in africa.

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What happened to the blond that went to collage? She got her masters degree and became a brain surgeon.

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What is brown and has 15 legs? (They answer "What?") Reply: I don't know I was hoping you would.

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What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

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How do you kill half of Mexico? You use nuclear weapons in major cities.

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When will racism end? When everyone's dead.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had several drinks, conversed animatedly, and heartily enjoyed themselves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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