How much cocaine has Charlie Sheen done? enough to put your health at risk

Two tomatoes walk across the street and manage to get over safely. COME ON MUSTARD!

Q: How do you get 1000 babies into a bucket? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Tortilla chips.

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

How many Aumish farmhands does it take to operate a state of the art commercial laser-cutter? One,provided he has the relevant training and experience.

How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Idk

what happens when 15 babies cross the street? well, some may be hit by cars. others will have to face the harsh life of reality.

Why did the african jump in the swimming pool? Because it was a really hot day and he wanted to cool down

What makes a catholic priest happier then a visit to the penn state locker room? Introducing Jesus to people and them accepting him as their savior.

What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.

please dis this joke, I want to get to the bottom of the leaderboard!

What's worse than a kid being bullied at school? A kid being bullied at school, to go home and be raped by his stepdad.

Hey I just met you, and this seems crazy. I have Alzheimers... Hey i just met you.

Q: Why do so many people write "So a man walked into a bar" A: Because they lack the intellect to think of something creative, and still other peoples material.

what do you call a joke that is not a joke? not a joke

Thumbs this up

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because Osama Bin Laden is dead.

Why did you not just "put a spell" on her instead? And you are totally mean, ever actually killed someone?

What did the woman get for Christmas? Cooking oil and a black eye.

redtube

Donald Trump

Whats the difference between Steven Hawkin and Gary Glitter? Ones severely disabled and ones a paedophile.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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