I like big butts and I cannot lie. You don't know that. I may enjoy skinny butts. I may be lying.

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where do you find sunglasses at? the store

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

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What do you call a horse with no legs? Useless.

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What's sad about an old black woman being hit by a Porsche? She was my third grade English teacher, and had a huge impact upon my life.

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Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

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What did Bush say to Obama was elected? I'm going to have you assassinated.

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On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me nothing because I'm single

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Guess what my grandma told me yesterday.. Nothing she's dead.

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Andy Carrol

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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Roses are red Violets are orange Thats odd, my violets are somehow orange

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how do you scare a mexican? You dress up as a bar of soap.

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Cheese stick

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her...

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roses are red violets are blue you know what? im sick and tired of this joke.

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What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

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what do you call a attractive blond haired girl who sings songs. pixie lott

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What do you call a muslim who is not a terrorist ? A muslim

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Why aren't elephants allowed in public pools? Because they are elephants.

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what do you call gingers ugly.

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what do you call a kid without arms and legs? Freak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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