A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

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charlie sheen losing

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A guy walks into a bar, A metal one, OUCH!

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What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy running down a hill? Two good friends enjoying the countryside together.

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Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins

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If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

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when the teacher asked jimmy if he was a girl jimmy felt very scared because his teacher had no mental problems.

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What do the poor have that the rich need? Nothing.

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A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

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Why was the asian boy made fun of in the locker room? Because of the nipple piercing he had.

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Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? He was Happy

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?u?? ????? ????? '?? p??? o? u?op ?p?sdn s??? p?dd??? no? ??

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gate open and chickens typically wonder with no obvious pattern to their movements.

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my shift key is broken1

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What's the difference between a pen and a tiger? Believe it or not they are both not a cantaloupe.

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Know what would be awkward, if a GPS told a gay guy to get straight.

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

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your going to die

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*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

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What's the difference between a duck

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What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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