- My grand mother died. - I'm sorry.... Did She died of old age ? - No, she got eaten by a giant worm.

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One kid says I've had threw bottles of water and I haven't had to go to the bathroom. His friend says may have a urinary tract infection.

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How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

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Went to a zoo there was a asian shouting GOOZILLA at the reptile house I said no 2 frickly pickles please He said helwo I'm wo pong th pow wice to weet you I said does he come with subtitles Old priest said no the said hello little boy want a mint I said oh thanks I'm not a boy I'm 19 Old priest said no no you can't have one of my special mints I said wait those mints have R's on them are the rainbow mints Old priest no there raspberry I said ok don't be a stranger Old priest said oh I will I said wait your THE PRIEST He said oh I'm just a priest looking for little boys I said no your dead now jumped 30 feet in the air sat on a bird dove into him bird went threw him we made a team promised to clean the world of evil only to find out that we killed the mother of all priest Bird said tweak tweak I said yeah let's hunt them all down Shall the be a part 2 you decide

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Your Moma so fat, she would roll down a hill.

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Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

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Why does Mario wear coveralls? Because it makes practical sense for his full time job as a plumber.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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- I'm in my mum's car, broom broom. - Get out me car. - Aw.

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How do you catch wet wood on fire? Ask a business owner in Ferguson, MO, to keep it in their store.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

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When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

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how do you spend all your money you go buy stuff

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Roses are Black Violets are Black I am color blind.

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Why do people like anti jokes? Because their f****** funny as hell

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How many women's right's leaders does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't change anything.

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What's the difference between a mole and dynamite? - Moles don't explode... unless you fill them with dynamite.

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What does Chuck Noris have under his beard? A chin

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Bob: You need to push harder? Tom: Oh wow what a coincidence, that is what my wife said last night. They laugh about the irony of the situation and then return to the task at hand

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Don't you sometime just want to chop of your toes and stomp around to prove to the so called 'experts' that it is possible for a person to walk without toes? . . . . . . me neither

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Anything involving women..

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leon harney ya pikey

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple whilst you're in a bar after finding out you have cancer when you visited your families grave? Having a refrigerator thrown at you by an aids infected monkey with no arms or legs.

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A man named Joe has practiced drawing cartoon characters his entire life. When Joe turns 15 he decides to enter a local drawing competeiton. Joe works very hard drawing his cartoon and finally finishes. When it is the time to hand in his drawing his drawing, he hands it in an receives a satisfying 2nd place and continues on with his life. Two years later Joe decides to enter another drawing competeiton (this one much more competitive) after his drawing skills have tremendously increased. He begins drawing and is 3/4 of the way finished when Joe is brutally murdered by a mentally disturbed man and cannot hand in his art work and is therefore disqualified from the competeiton and loses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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