Why black guys are the fasttest runners? Because the slowers are already in prison

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What do you call a taxi driver eating on a gourmet restaurant? A taxi driver.

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what did the cat say to the monkey meow then he got hit by a car

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Violets are red. Roses are blue. I am drunk, and i'm about to spew.

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A guy walks into a bar Many people gather around him to see if he is alright and to tell him he needs to watch where he is going.

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knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

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Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

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EVERYBODY THUMB THIS JOKE DOWN

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Two strippers are out of work. So they turn to prostitution.

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What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

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Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

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What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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whats worse than getting raped by your mom getrting raped by a giant scorpian

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What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

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what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

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A dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." The patrons are afraid of the talking dog.

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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Usually, the bad (anti) jokes are the ones that don't make you laugh. Sometimes you laugh "with" the joke, other times, you laugh at the joke itself because it is a paragon for human failure. The jokes on this website are not exempt from that rigid stipulation. However, it should be noted that all the "jokes" on this particular website are actually hilarious because of the latter reason delineated in the above paragraph. Additionally, this joke was created by a machine and thus the originator of this work is by no means able to learn from the process of trial and error and therfore can make myriad unfunny jokes without compromise.

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Whats the differance between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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Yo mamas so fat that she slowly had developed obstructive sleep apnea syndrome and had died due to an obstruction of her upper airway while she was sleeping.

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what's silver and red and keeps crashing into the walls? a baby with forks in its eyes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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