how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

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Q. What do you call 2 black men on a bike? A. Organised Crime

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How do you make a plummer angry? Kill his family

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knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

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How do you keep a secret? Kill yourself.

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Whats that cool sound it makes when you thumbs a comment?

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What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

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What did the Nazi say to the farmer? Sie sind Juden versteckt

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Women's rights.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an abosolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy running down a hill? Two good friends enjoying the countryside together.

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What do the poor have that the rich need? Nothing.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Whats funnier than 24? 25

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what was the biggest game of hide and seek? World War II and the Jews won

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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A baby seal walks into a club

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Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

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What did the kid say when he fell of a cliff and met Tom jones? Hi

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Mum: Never put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Child: Oh, I was going to play video games tomorrow, so...

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face", the horse said nothing; because it is a horse.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of problems with money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf which impairs the ability to register sights and sounds necessary to operate an automobile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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